Rewritten

I've written this post in my head at least 3 different ways during the last several days. My Thanksgiving has encompassed a full gamut of emotions, to say the least....

For the first time ever, I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner. My mother-in-law was not feeling up to it, so I offered to have my husband's family over to celebrate the holiday. Much to my own surprise, I ended up loving every minute of it. My husband deep-fried 2 birds which was quite a relief to me. I enjoyed watching him research it all out, looking up recipes & techniques. The kids also enjoyed it tremendously. Seth named his turkey, "Rock Star" and Jenna named hers, "Sparkles." Don't ask... I don't get it either :-) I hope to never erase in my mind the picture of all my kids gathered around 2 naked birds in my kitchen, each taking turns injecting them with butter using a honking-huge syringe. They LOVED it. We tend to turn everything into a learning experience and this was no exception.

I had the distinct impression that this holiday was especially important for my family. I could just tell that something was being knitted together in us as we worked side by side, preparing a mega-feast for our extended family to enjoy. Suddenly, we've turned a corner. My kids are of the ages now, that it's no longer "mom & dad doing all the work while the kids run off and play." They are old enough to really help. They worked HARD (seriously), helping make the house and food ready for the big Turkey day. It really was a team effort.

I cannot express how much joy this brought me. It's not just about me "finally getting some help." It's much more about us enjoying life together, making memories together, learning from one another, and building family relationships. I want them to have fond memories of making holiday preparations together, knowing that their contributions to that effort mattered. Each one of them brings a special dimension to our family that no one else can duplicate. I had a deep sense that we were "building" something very important and foundational, something that our kids would always want to come back to and be a part of.

The dinner itself was a huge success. I learned many things about cooking, including some definite "what NOT to do's." All of my guest brought a dish, and there literally was enough food to feed an army (or the Massasoit Tribe). It has taken many, many years, but I finally realized that it's not about the "perfection' of it all... it's about the "heart" of it all. My house wasn't perfectly clean (I didn't even mop my floor!) and the food wasn't all perfectly hot, but we all enjoyed each other's company and shared stories and laughter. I was (FOR ONCE) perfectly content with that!

After the official Thanksgiving Day, I was able to spend some time with my (the Brister) side of the family. I had the rather rare opportunity to spend some time with my younger sister and my dad. We were driving to the store together and I sat in the back seat, listening to my dad tell some stories about his father. It's amazing how my quiet and reserved father loves to tell stories about his family's history. Anyhow, I found out that my dad's dad's mom (a.k.a. my great-grandma) was under a lot of pressure to get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with my grandpa. Her husband (my great-great grandpa) had Tuberculosis and was in a Sanitarium. My great-grandma had nothing and this was during the Great Depression. Her 2 sisters were pushing hard for her to abort the baby, saying there was no way she would make it with no husband and no job. My great-grandma refused and miraculously got a job as a house handmaid for some people. My great-grandpa eventually improved and got to come back home and they had three more children together.

I was literally awe-struck by this story. What if she'd done it? What if she'd given in to hopelessness? What if she had no faith? My grandpa would've been killed in utero, my dad wouldn't exist, and neither would I? Our entire family history could have been rewritten. I was overcome with thanksgiving in realizing that God has had His hand on our family for a very, very long time. It gave me a new appreciation for my great-grandma, "Ma." It must've been hard for her to stand up to her sisters, not knowing what would become of her or her baby. I had the privilege of knowing my Ma Brister, since she passed away only a few years ago. This whole story gave me some sort of new courage... to do what's right in God's eyes no matter what, knowing the He is my Hope and realizing that my decisions will affect the generations that follow. We are writting history..right here and right now. I want to be that "Ma" that courageously obeys the Lord in the midst of major uncertainty. That's the legacy that I want to leave.

I must say, I'm so thankful this year for a multitude of things...

Obedience...yet another obligation?

OK ya'll. Sorry if I'm boring you, but I just haven't gotten off this train yet. Wayne Jacobsen's book entitled, "He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection" is speaking loud and clear to me these days. Sometimes I'm rather awed and stupefied by how backward my own thinking is. Here are a few excerpts I've been chewing on:

"The motives of conformity do not produce intimacy....We think conformity to God's ways will lead us closer to him, when the opposite is true. If we focus on our own fears and performance, he will seem more distant. It is only by living in the security of God's affection that he is able to transform us."

"I am not saying that the fear of God is wrong, only that it is incomplete. It is the first rung on the ladder to knowing God in his fullness. He said himself it was the beginning of wisdom, but it is only the beginning. Love is the end product of wisdom. If you don't love God, you would be well-served to fear him. At least that might keep you from behaviors that will destroy you and others around you. But once you know how much he loves you, you'll never need to fear him again. In other words, this Father doesn't just seek your obedience, he desires your affection. He can have your obedience without your love, but he knows where he has your love he will also have your obedience."

"One can obey God and yet not trust him, and in doing so miss out on a relationship with him. One cannot, however, trust God and be disobedient to him. For we shall see that all disobedience flows out of mistrust in God's nature and of his intentions toward us."

" 'God is good. You are bad. Try harder!' ...the observations of a fifteen-year-old summing up an evening with her youth group."



God is way bigger than obligation.

Really awesome...

OK, I am not getting paid for this post. But I just have to say that I had a really awesome experience today at a place call, "Portrait Innovations." We had a great photographer who took tons of time with my family, which made my heart sing. I absolutely get anxiety when I think about going to an overcrowded, "cattle herder" photography studio around the holidays.... especially when I want a NICE picture of 6 people!

I felt like the girl taking care of us actually cared as much as I did about how good my pictures turned out. She understood the process of working so hard to get everyone looking nice at the same time and she valued the work I had put into the day, even though she doesn't have her own family yet. She actually HELPED me choose the best photos in order to stay in my price range. She was AWESOME!

Did I mention that I actually came home with all of my portrait packages and my Christmas cards? Yep... all ready for ya in 30 minutes or so. Gotta tell you.......the old-fashioned idea of kindness, caring, and work-ethic rate pretty high in my book. Blessings to Ellyse, the sweet photographer who made this Christmas season that much sweeter for me.

Obligation. I MUST write about it.

Obligation: (n.) That which constitutes legal or moral duty, and which renders a person liable to coercion and punishment for neglecting it.


Can I tell you something? I hate that word. Everything about that word has a negative connotation to me right now. Late this evening, I finally got a chance to sit down and look through the Sunday sales papers. As I was flipping through I just got a sense of dread come over me. I realized that so much of our gift exchanging is "obligatory." Eww. That ugly word again. I wondered, as I looked, how many people that normally buy ME a present actually want to. I mean, really. I'm not looking for pity or hinting around for Christmas gifts or anything, but I will describe for you what genuine gift giving means to me.

In my opinion, it means that someone is so touched by my presence in their life, that they automatically feel compelled to be kind to me. They notice what I like and dislike because they've spent time getting to know me, and something within them longs to do something special for me..... just because I'm me. When someone is touched by love, the knee-jerk reaction is to love back. To "give" back, to "care" back, to "be there" back, to "console" back, to "cheer up" back. I absolutely LOVE to shop for people and look for little things that I think they would like....to surprise them with a thoughtful gift that comes from the heart.

You want to know what else I hate (I know, I'm on a role)? I also hate the whole "money spending" tally thing. You know, making sure you spend the same on all the cousins, or equal amounts on the grandparents, etc. To me, how can you measure a heart felt gift in dollars and cents like that? For one person, the thing you just KNOW they'd love might be a whopping $15. For someone else it might be $40. I hope you get my drift. I just feel so bound up with all of these obligatory rules, gift-giving do's and don'ts. It literally sucks the joy right out of it. I mean, how special do you feel when Aunt LuLu buys you a pair of $15 slipper socks that you'll never wear to fulfill her Christmas List obligation? What are we giving those gifts for???

Something I just read a few nights ago really struck a chord. Let me quote:

"It's tragic really. Those who are willing to substitute the demand of obligation for the power of affection have not tasted the latter in any significant measure. I have observed all over the world that those who discover the depth of the Father's affection for them and learn to live in it find greater passion for Jesus and freedom from sin and are more engaged with the world than anyone driven by religious obligation."

by Wayne Jacobsen in "He Loves Me. Learning to live in the Father's Affection.

I'm all about seeking the "genuine" right now. Genuine "love," genuine "care," genuine "following," genuine "discipleship."

Genuine: (n.) Real, natural, true. Free from anything false, or counterfeit. Pure.

mercy me, I'm a V.I.P!!!

Well, it is official.... it's not "what you know," but "who you know." In the world of bands and band groupies, I will forever be known as "Sunnyside's friend." Let me explain...


Last night, my very thoughtful and awesome friend, Lisa Mongold, treated ME to a "mercy me" concert in Naperville. Not only did I get to hear music live and in person that I normally worship to in my kitchen, but I also got to hang out (yes, that's right) with the band after the concert. Like I said, it's all in who you know.

It was a night I don't think I'll ever forget. The music was even better than it normally is in my kitchen :-) What wonderfully talented people they are!! I always completely enjoy watching musicians in their element. I love their mannerisms, the expressions on their faces, and their entire attitude as their gift is pouring out of them. Some people are just born to be a vessel for music. It is clear and evident when they do what they do best. I LOVE it. What a tribute to our Creator and His own amazing abilities.

So thank you, Sunnyside, from the bottom of my heart, for an unforgettable evening of worship and "groupie" fun. You ROCK!

Under New Leadership

With the talk of a new presidency, new leadership, and change to come, it got me thinking. Basically, my experience so far in this life has shown me that the world values things like "making it to the top," & "being in charge." Be a leader, not a follower. Things like that.

I'm not disputing that leadership is important and "too many chiefs and not enough Indians" is no way to run a company or whatever. BUT, the kingdom I live in doesn't work like that. So, I ponder, what does it mean to follow. Have I allowed the world's standard to invade my thinking and give that word a negative connotation?

Actually, I was listening to some teaching and realized that my current struggles were born out of the fact that I want to drag God with me wherever I want to go, instead of follow his lead. Gee, sounds to me like that will cause some definite tension. I knew something wasn't right, but I hadn't put my finger on it.

I'm coming to realize that following is really what I've wanted all along. I don't have to have all the answers or always know what to do. I simply follow.

Some thoughts from the passage in John 10 about the Good Shepherd:

"After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won't follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don't know his voice." ".......Those who come in through me will be saved. They will come and go freely and will find good pastures. The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."

follow: To go after or behind; to walk, ride, or move behind, but in the same direction. To be guided by someone or something.