Myth Buster

So I was thinking of how my last post could be construed as a "Beaver Cleaver" kind of family experience. I decided to bust that myth because that is in no way what I meant about the recipe for true family. Let me explain...

Last Sunday was filled with lots of experiences and interactions between my family. We laughed, we yelled, we got mad, we made up. We cooked a big breakfast at 3 in the afternoon. It was fun, it was boring. We did end up having to leave the house. My kids discovered they could text each other using Nintendos and I let them.

It wasn't picture perfect and we didn't sing around the campfire. We DID learn more about each other, about tolerance, about love, about forgiveness. And we're learning about it together. My dream is that our family's function won't be handed over to the entertainment that comes so easily in our society. We're bonded not by perfection but by the experience of learning about each other in this petri dish called family. In my opinion, that is worth fighting for. Honestly, sometimes, I feel like I'm in a war.

Be still.

It is nearly 1 pm on Sunday afternoon. I am still in my pj's, wearing glasses, and my hair hasn't seen the likes of a comb today. My kids have probably asked me 10 times what we're doing today and they didn't like my response: NOTHING. I pointed out the constant flood of activity that went on yesterday... the friends they saw and games they played all throughout the day. They replied, "Oh," in a semi-surprised tone as if they had already forgotten about yesterday's entertainment.

So our agenda today is to be still. No noise. No tv. Nothing outside coming in. Just us.. each other. Spontaneous conversations. Nothing contrived or pre-planned. My recipe for true family.

Note to Self..

If I charge my own mp3 player, I wouldn't have to listen to Alvin & the Chipmunks, Miley Cyrus, or H.S. Musical tunes while I workout. Just a thought :-)

Numb

Obviously, from my month-long silence, I have had trouble being motivated to write about anything lately. I don't even know what I'm going to write about now, but I figured maybe if my hands hit the keyboard that something would come out. I think it is kind of like exercise, the hardest part is getting started...

Writing is sort of a love/hate relationship for me. On occasion, it has been a wonderful creative outlet for me and has helped to organize my own thoughts and beliefs. I have had so many "ah ha!" moments of my own while writing. On the flip side, it can just seem too emotionally taxing for me to put my thoughts on paper. Most of the time I am my own worst enemy and talk myself right out of it.

So, here I am. Sort of numb, sort of empty, willing to give it a try once again....


The past few days have sucked (sorry if that shocks you). I have wondered if God is there. I have wondered what the flippin heck is taking so long for our "situation" to turn around. I am tired (sick AND tired to quote Bill Cosby) of waiting. I have been angry. I have cried. Cried really hard. I have wondered if I like people at all anymore (very Christian, I know) and I feel as if I don't know anything for sure either.

So, I am empty of tears and empty of much emotion. I am simply waiting to hear the Voice in the calm that can make it all better.


Well, I guess that's a start.