Obligation. I MUST write about it.

Obligation: (n.) That which constitutes legal or moral duty, and which renders a person liable to coercion and punishment for neglecting it.


Can I tell you something? I hate that word. Everything about that word has a negative connotation to me right now. Late this evening, I finally got a chance to sit down and look through the Sunday sales papers. As I was flipping through I just got a sense of dread come over me. I realized that so much of our gift exchanging is "obligatory." Eww. That ugly word again. I wondered, as I looked, how many people that normally buy ME a present actually want to. I mean, really. I'm not looking for pity or hinting around for Christmas gifts or anything, but I will describe for you what genuine gift giving means to me.

In my opinion, it means that someone is so touched by my presence in their life, that they automatically feel compelled to be kind to me. They notice what I like and dislike because they've spent time getting to know me, and something within them longs to do something special for me..... just because I'm me. When someone is touched by love, the knee-jerk reaction is to love back. To "give" back, to "care" back, to "be there" back, to "console" back, to "cheer up" back. I absolutely LOVE to shop for people and look for little things that I think they would like....to surprise them with a thoughtful gift that comes from the heart.

You want to know what else I hate (I know, I'm on a role)? I also hate the whole "money spending" tally thing. You know, making sure you spend the same on all the cousins, or equal amounts on the grandparents, etc. To me, how can you measure a heart felt gift in dollars and cents like that? For one person, the thing you just KNOW they'd love might be a whopping $15. For someone else it might be $40. I hope you get my drift. I just feel so bound up with all of these obligatory rules, gift-giving do's and don'ts. It literally sucks the joy right out of it. I mean, how special do you feel when Aunt LuLu buys you a pair of $15 slipper socks that you'll never wear to fulfill her Christmas List obligation? What are we giving those gifts for???

Something I just read a few nights ago really struck a chord. Let me quote:

"It's tragic really. Those who are willing to substitute the demand of obligation for the power of affection have not tasted the latter in any significant measure. I have observed all over the world that those who discover the depth of the Father's affection for them and learn to live in it find greater passion for Jesus and freedom from sin and are more engaged with the world than anyone driven by religious obligation."

by Wayne Jacobsen in "He Loves Me. Learning to live in the Father's Affection.

I'm all about seeking the "genuine" right now. Genuine "love," genuine "care," genuine "following," genuine "discipleship."

Genuine: (n.) Real, natural, true. Free from anything false, or counterfeit. Pure.